Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Journey back to drumming.

Drumming is like breathing to me. I need it and love it that much. Since my daughter was born I had only picked up drum sticks twice which left me with playing two times in over a month. I believe it worked in my favor because it gave me time to clear my head, enjoy time with my wife and with our newborn. I am a music fanatic so I'm constantly listening to music and I learn by listening.

Last night I returned to Praise Team practice for the 1st time in over a month. I am very thankful for the break and also the time to worship with my wife on Sunday morning. I was honestly nervous when I first sat down to play. You have to understand; I don't get nervous!!  As a musician I allow the music to come to me when I play instead of thinking a lot about what I'm doing. That was not the case last night because due to the nerves I was thinking about everything that I was doing which for a drummer isn't always a good thing. It took me a little while but as time went on it started to come back to me. One other thing was that I kinda felt like an outsider since I hadn't been there in so long. In the beginning I almost felt myself feeling like I had something to prove when playing like I had to play like or better than the person that was playing before I returned but after reeling that emotion in I began to be myself. This isn't who I am at all which took me by surprise also. My continual prayer during that time (and continually) was/is "Lord help me to understand this gift that you've given me and help me to express it the right way & in a way that pleases you. Teach me how to do this. Teach me how to play like me and not imitate someone else." It's crazy how quickly things changed after that, lol.

Music is a gift and I intend to do the best I can with what was given to me. I owe it to myself and the world to be myself and to be my best. Gifts are given to be shared and I'm open to whatever door that may open and I will prayerfully walk through them. For me personally, any time that I am able to play I take the time to give it to the Lord and pray that he gets the honor for it all. It is a serious thing to me. In the end, if you ask me where it came from I will always defer to Him because in the end it's His. We all have one life and we only have one shot at it. Today's a new day and I'm in love with the opportunities in it. Living to drum & dream another day.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

It's been a great week! (I'm writing from little sleep so enjoy!)

The last week has been amazing. I've had the opportunity to spend some extra time with my wife in time leading up to the new arrival of our first child, Zoë Harlow. I've done a lot of thinking and I realize that I have been in a season of maturity leading up to this point and it's a continual thing. It's only by God's grace and design that I believe this is happening and I thank him for it. It's amazing how you can go weeks or even days and realize that your thought process has changed or is changing and for the better. As I've said in the past, I pray very often that I be the best servant of God, husband, son, friend and (now) father that I can be and God is hearing me. I'm learning to not try to control the way I am molded in these ways because I honestly feel because I'm a perfectionist in many ways, I get in the way of what God is trying to use to mature me.
The process of God had helped me to fall in love with my wife even more and I'm so grateful for a beautiful and wonderful wife. Not everyone has the privilege of waking up next to someone that makes them smile just at the sight of them. I'm blessed to have that "good thing" that is more than a pretty face but that walks with me, grows with me, challenges me, appreciates me and welcomes the same from me in return. I am truly blessed.
Now that the time is here for Zoë it's overwhelming to see that God has blessed us with everything that we've prayed for that we need for the baby and more and to see so much support from so many people has put me in awe. I believe she's going to be special like the ones that have gone before us, and those that have taught us. She'll definitely be strong, wise and beautiful like her mom.
I have no idea what Zoë is going to look like and it's a weird feeling that I guess only a parent can describe. We have been ready to meet this busy little person in my wife's stomach and I pray that she's more dependent on God, talented, loving, sweet, and fun to be around than we are.
I'm thanking God in advance for our sweet child and life from here. All of this had changed in my heart the more amount of energy that I should put into what God is putting in my heart to do. Life doesn't end with children; it's the beginning of a new era. The countdown is almost over.

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Welcome to my blog!

Welcome to my blog! I wanted to set this up because there's a lot happening in my life these days and definitely for the better. I am honestly blessed beyond belief but I am excited about what's coming because I have some huge dreams. I've always been the type of person to believe that there's more than what I can see and that I can accomplish more. It's in my heart to help others to see that about themselves and their lives as well. 

I am a married man and I love and I'm in love with my beautiful wife, Courteney! We've been through a lot together and we've braved the storm through what many would have given up on. She's my best friend and my favorite person in the world. Definitely a blessing to me daily and I wouldn't choose to share my life with anyone else. We are expecting our first child, Zoe Harlow, any day now and we are excited. Never thought I would be wanting the baby to come as bad as I do now. We are excited about this little "active" person. It's crazy how in love with her I am already, lol, so you can come any time now Zoe. We'd love to see you! 

I am a musician! I am becoming more of a student of my craft as a drummer/percussion. I listen to music constantly to the point that I would listen to it in my sleep if I could. Music is a means of expression and it's those that can truly communicate what they are feeling that become great at it. I look up to so many musicians and I listen to everything that I can stomach and I push that limit at times because I believe that you can always learn something from any song. In the end, I'm hoping that I have nothing left to give musically because I've given everything. Until then, I've got work to do musically and I have HUGE DREAMS for it. 

So excited about actually have a blog! I have a lot of things to say; the Good, random, and off the wall so keep up with me especially during these Zoe days, lol. Love you guys!